A few weeks ago, Ella and I met up with boys from the University of Birmingham Medics Rugby Club to talk about men’s mental illness within competitive sports teams. University sports teams can be surrounded by a preconception of ‘lad culture’ and machismo which one might not associate with a supportive environment for someone struggling with their mental health. Talking to the club really opened our eyes as to how positive a sports team can be, to the point where it becomes a support network for the boys involved.

When we met the team, it was so encouraging to see the number interested in coming to chat to us, how passionate they were about this cause and how they viewed mental illness and support networks within their team. Ella and I learnt that this is currently a topic very close to home, as one of their old boys sadly took his own life recently after a long struggle with mental illness. There was a resounding sense of sadness that he had not contacted anyone from the team, as they all wished he had realised that they could have been there for him and helped.

We hope that the boys’ responses to our questions, and their opinions towards men’s mental illness in general can help others feel more confident in seeking help without fear of judgement.

“Do you think there's a lad culture surrounding men's sports? And why?”

There seems to be an ethos within the university that sports teams are defined by drinking, peer pressure and going out. We think that there’s obviously always a difference between what people think goes on, and what actually happens, but there has definitely been a move away from that compared to the past. In earlier years, boys sometimes felt they couldn’t join if they weren’t interested in that kind of stuff, but recently we’ve had so many older boys joining as we’ve tried to create a more welcoming environment. It’s greatly influenced by the boys in charge of the club, and how they like it to be run.

We view ‘lad culture’ as a group of friends doing what they enjoy together, but from an external perspective that can look bad if people don’t understand how close knit we are. It can be such a negative term and creates a preconception about how we act. But actually, our club is as much a support network and group of friends as it is guys playing rugby together and going out.

“Do you think conforming to a lad culture can affect your mental health / make you less likely to talk about it?”

There’s definitely a problem with guys talking about both their physical health as well as mental. Whether this is due to ‘lad culture’, how we’re brought up or our nature is unclear. Similar to the nature versus nurture argument for lots of human behaviours.

If you have a group of friends which you become closer to through doing all the ‘lad stuff’, then you can come to rely on them and may actually be more likely to talk about it with them.

“How do you think we can improve the talk of mental health amongst males and competitive sports players?”

One of the main things that’s started happening recently is high profile male sports personas opening up about their struggles with mental health. We obviously have a lot of respect for these guys, and you feel like if it’s okay for them to struggle with their mental health, then it’s okay for you too. Nigel Owens frank discussion about his struggles with bulimia really made an impact, and it would be so helpful if there was more openness like this.

A big issue with guys can be ignorance of what’s happening, and refusing to admit to yourself that something is wrong. Raising awareness about what’s not normal could help people recognise problems earlier, as it always seems to go further than it should have before help is sought.

Finally, within our team we have a welfare rep that is available for anonymous worries and help, but everyone is happy to listen if someone is having a problem. We also have rugby team ‘families’ which try to integrate different year groups, break down barriers and encourage friendships.

“If you could say one thing to someone struggling in an environment where they don't feel comfortable talking about their mental health, what would it be?”

-Its hard but don’t be afraid to ask other people

-You’d be so surprised by who you can talk to and how much experience people have with mental illness

-You’re not going to be forced into anything you’re not comfortable with, but people will be there for you when you’re ready

-It’s completely normal and okay to not feel 100%.

For everyone else, if you notice someone not acting like themselves then offering an ‘olive branch’ such as asking if they’re okay can make a massive difference. That’s something we can all easily do.

Once you join the club you’re part of a family that lasts long after graduation, as has been shown by the death of our old boy. He has created tidal waves through the club and we all wish we could have helped.

“Do you find exercise helps improve your mental health?”

(a resounding YES.)

We love it because

-It can help give your mind a rest from overthinking things

-You have all your friends around you

-It can be an outlet

-You feel like you’re a part of something bigger

-You feel like you’ve done something productive

Some of us find group sports (such as rugby) more helpful as you get the team atmosphere and challenge, however others find solo exercise in the gym better for improving mental health.

“Do you guys have any more plans for raising awareness around mens’ mental health?”

This November, as many of our club as possible will be joining movember. We hope to raise awareness of mens mental health, and raise money. All the proceeds will go towards charities supporting men’s mental health and suicide prevention as well as prostate and testicular cancer. We would really appreciate any support so please please donate to a fantastic cause (and to see us all looking ridiculous) in loving memory of our alumnus and club mate.

Click here to donate

Thank you to the Birmingham Medics Rugby team for chatting to us, being so supportive of mental health and for raising money for this cause. If anyone reading has found this piece helpful then use the link above to donate to their movember movement, and as always if you have any feedback or want to talk then please comment below or contact us.

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Sophie Winter

@​MyMuscleMind #StrengthNotStigma

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@MyMuscleMind #StrengthNotStigma